One of the questions I’m frequently asked when I’m out speaking to a group is this: How do I motivate someone I care about to connect to their passion?
At the root of this question is a more general urge that we all have from time to time. In essence we’re asking, “How do I get someone else to do something that I know would be good for them?”
This impetus can take many forms. Maybe you’ve wondered how you could help a significant other lose weight. Or you’ve thought about how you could make a parent happy. Or you are perpetually dropping hints about how much better off a friend would be if they left that un-hip neighborhood.
Super well intentioned.
And also super likely to fail for one simple reason.
I bet the person you are trying to motivate to make a change never asked you for your help.
Since they didn’t ask for help they either 1) haven’t acknowledged that anything is wrong or 2) their attention is on something else at the moment.
There’s a moment when an individual decides that it’s important to them to make a particular change and begins seeking (asking) for information that would help them in their endeavor. Until that point it’s fairly certain that any tip or strategy you might provide them with will be a waste of breath. Unsolicited advice is easy to give and even easier to dismiss.
We all come to things in our own time.
So what can you do to help that person that you care about right now?
1) Love them unconditionally. That means showing up for them with kindness and acceptance. It also means leaving any agenda that you might have for them at the door.
2) Work on your own life. While you may not have any control over when a loved one decides to make some improvement you do have control over yourself. Put your time and energy into your next area of growth. Be a light and an inspiration for the people that you care about.